Requiem for a Prince
by Mistress Ariadne Seymour Parr
Summary: Snape is dead. Harry is mourning his death but not everything will turn out as one wants it to be
1. One:A Torturous Misconception

Chapter One: A Torturous Misconception

'Promise me that you will never leave me'

'Harry…'

'Promise me, Severus.'

'I cannot do something that is out of my power.'

'You kept your promise to Dumbledore. You protected me'

'That is an entirely different matter.'

'Damn you, Severus, I want you to promise me!'

'Harry. Harry, look at me.'

Harry Potter raised his green eyes to Albus Dumbledore. The eyes which were usually tranquil and calm, were now quietly burning with the fires of guilt and betrayal. Dumbledore's own piercing blue eyes gazed back at him. 'Harry, this isn't your fault.'

This isn't your fault. Harry looked down at his lap. That's what you said when Sirius died.

'Harry, I know how you feel.'

'No, you don't.' Right, you crossed the line, old man. 'And we are not having this conversation again.' Harry said heatedly, glaring into Dumbledore's eyes now. For the second time in his life, he wanted nothing more than to rip off that calm, ancient face with his bare hands, to rip out those blue eyes so they would never pierce his ever again, to shake that body so that every bone will crumble away… 'Every time you say that it's not my fault, it turns out to be entirely my fault. Just….Just like Sirius.' His voice choked on the last word, and he had to close his eyes momentarily from stopping the hot tears that threatened to fall. When he opened them again, Dumbledore was no longer looking at him.

'I should never have let him enter Voldemort's circle. I should have foreseen the dangers that he would encounter. Harry, I know you don't want to see me or talk to me, let alone believe me. And I assure you that you have every right to feel this way. But you have to know that Severus's death…'

'Don't you dare speak his name!' Harry shouted, standing up from the chair Dumbledore had forced him to sit in. He didn't care what he says to the ancient wizard anymore. 'Don't you dare…when YOU are the one who TOLD HIM to protect me, when YOU are the one who asked him to be your spy…when YOU are the one who asked him to help you with your blasted ORDER, when…'

'When I am the one who caused his death.' Dumbledore finished for him in his grave voice. Harry was shaking with suppressed anger now, any moment he's going to hurt the old man…any second now…'as you said, I am unworthy even to speak his name. I know that, Harry. But I beg of you, right this second, to sit down and listen to what I have to say.'

That was the last thing that Harry wanted to do. He glared at hatefully as he could into Dumbledore's eyes, and was nearly crazed with frustration when they looked back at him with the same calm look that they so often wore. With the greatest effort that he had to muster in his life, Harry took a deep breath and forced himself into the chair, clasping both of his hands so hard together that his knuckles went white.

'I was wrong to let Severus teach you Occlumency. I was wrong to appoint him as your guardian from Voldemort.' Dumbledore said in a low, sad tone that made Harry feel guilty in sprite of himself.' I was wrong to ever let him help me…But most of all, I was wrong to let you set eyes on him.'

Harry's eyes snapped up, had he heard wrong? What the hell does he mean? What does he know about us? Does he know about…? A fearful thought occurred to him. 'What?' He managed to croak out.

Dumbledore's eyes lost some of their calmness now, for an unknown reason that Harry both ached and feared to know. 'I always knew you never got on well with Sev…with him, I knew that you despise him because of the insults at your father. I knew of your deep hatred towards him. But because of an old man's foolishness, I turned a blind eye towards what I know and thought only of your protection.'

'I don't understand, Sir. What…What exactly do you mean?'

'I mean, Harry, that I apologize that you have to feel guilty over someone you hated so much.' Dumbledore said gravely.' If only I had asked someone else…someone who you place your trust into and someone who you respect…like Remus Lupin and Alastor Moody…I would've have felt more at ease for the fact that you feel guilty. For this, Harry, I beg infinitely for your forgiveness, though I know how impossible it would be.'

Harry had no idea how to react to Dumbledore's words. This was beyond anything that he had expected…Merlin, this was WORSE than anything he had expected…Dumbledore feels guilty because HARRY feels guilty ABOUT SEV…About Snape. How could someone as wise and as powerful as Dumbledore make such a mistake? Have such an absurd misconception?

Though Harry couldn't entirely blame him. To each and every teacher and student at Hogwarts, the Potions Master and Harry Potter was the greatest pair of enemies ever existed. Every one had witnessed more than once of how Snape had bullied Harry, and how often Harry lose an absurd amount of House points and get detentions because he retorted Snape…But Dumbledore? Could it be possible that the little show between him and Snape…between him and SEVERUS…had fooled even the greatest wizard ever existed?

'You may go now, Harry, if you wish.' Dumbledore's soft voice cut into Harry's thoughts. He blinked and focused on his shaking hands. He could not look at the Headmaster. He DARED NOT look at him. 'I know you wanted nothing more than to be in solitude at this moment.'

Harry stood up immediately, and without raising his eyes once at Dumbledore, grabbed his bag and almost ran towards to office door.

'Harry…'Dumbledore's voice called behind him as his hands reached the doorknob. 'I am sorry…I truly am.'

Harry wrenched open the door and let it shut behind him. As it closed quietly, he could hear Fawkes letting out a mournful sort of hoot. He sped down the staircase, tears streaming uncontrollably from his burning green eyes to the front of his robes.

End of Chapter One


	2. Two:There is Something Worse than Death

Chapter Two: There Is Something Worse Than Death

'Mr. Potter.'

Harry looked up at the sallow face that he had hated ever since he came to Hogwarts five years ago. As usual, the fire of hatred burned in his chest as he looked into the gleaming black eyes of Severus Snape. Beside Snape at the Slytherin table, Draco Malfoy turned to look at Harry with a look of savage pleasure. His taunting blue eyes gleamed in excitement.

'Would you kindly explain, Mr. Potter, the reason for the state of your so-called Potion?' Snape smirked smoothly; pouring Harry's failed Potion, which was of a nasty tangerine color with the odor of bad eggs, from the flask into the cauldron for all to see.

Harry gritted his teeth. Beside him, Ron seemed to be clenching and unclenching his fists, making small popping sounds, while Hermione held her breath. The whole dungeon was tense with dread from the Griffindors and excitement from the Slytherins. Every eye was upon Snape and Harry; every ear ached for Harry's reaction. For five years this had been going on, for five years Snape had humiliated him in front of his classmates, for five blasted years he had to swallow Snape's insults and bullying. _Doesn't Snape ever get bored_? Because Harry certainly does.

'I misread your instructions, Sir.' He said as calmly as he could, while his insides boiled with despite for the Potions Master.

'Clearly, famous Harry Potter has developed reading disabilities…or has it been hiding there all along for five years? How unfortunate.' Snape said in a low voice, his black eyes fixed on Harry's. 'Well, seeing how inconvenient this problem must be for you, Mr. Potter, I am sure you will have no objection to coming down to the dungeons this evening after dinner. We must do something about your…disabilities.'

The Slytherins all sneered with satisfaction. Severus Snape had once again triumphed over Famous Harry Potter. Harry muttered a 'Yes, Sir' and glared down at the wooden table. He could feel Snape's eyes burning into the back of his neck before he swept away from their table. He could hear Hermione and the rest of the Griffindors heaving a sigh of relief. Well, at least he hadn't lost Gryffindor any points this time. He had managed not to let Snape get at him.

'Well, on that happy note, class dismissed!' Snape barked from the teacher's table.

Everyone stood up immediately and brought their flasks to the front of Snape's desk before grabbing their books and bags and leaving the room. Harry, Ron and Hermione were among the last to leave. As Harry reached the door, he could still feel Snape's eyes following him with the look of usual dislike. Harry went out of the room as fast as he could before Snape finds a chance to deduct points for reasons like hanging about the dungeons.

'Going to skrive off detention again, mate?' Ron asked, as soon as they got far away enough from the dungeons.

'Seriously, Harry, I don't think you should.' Hermione said worriedly. 'You have been skipping Snape's detentions for months now. I am surprised he didn't say anything about it.'

It was true that Harry had been skipping Snape's detentions ever since term started. With the help of Fred and George's Skriving Snackboxes, he managed to end up in the hospital wing either with boils all over his face or a sudden fever. He knew that someone as cunning as Snape can see through these tricks in no less than ten seconds, but he was also surprised that he didn't say anything on the subject. In fact, he seemed to be deliberately allowing Harry to cross the line this year. Harry couldn't figure out why. He had every reason to skip detentions, especially Snape's detentions, still he couldn't quite figure out why he didn't want to face or see Snape alone this year. Somehow, he felt that something would go horribly wrong if he got himself locked up in the dungeons with the Potions Master. Not horribly wrong as in losing his House fifty points or more, but horribly wrong as in something would happen to the BOTH of them.

'Oh shut up, Hermione. You are not seriously asking Harry to go off polishing cauldrons for Snape!' Ron rolled his eyes, 'Listen, Harry, why don't we go and have a game of Quidditch tonight? Maybe you can come up with an excuse like Hooch giving you extra practice time or something…'

'Ron!' Hermione said severely, her expression equaling McGonagall's. ' Look, Harry, why can't you just go for once? I mean, you have never skipped detentions before in the past four years and now…'

'That was before Fred and George invented Skriving Snackboxes,' Harry interrupted her. 'Ron's right. I am not gonna spend hours locked up with Snape when I can practice Quidditch instead.'

'No, but what I mean is, Harry, you don't have to be scared of Snape.' Hermione said softly.

Both Harry and Ron stopped dead in their tracks. Ron turned to yell at Hermione for the dumbest thing he had ever heard from her but Harry beat him there first. 'SCARED OF------Scared of Snape? What has gotten in you, Hermione? I am not scared of him. Is it really that weird for someone to not want to do detention with Snape? Do YOU want to? Because I wouldn't mind giving you the honor, Hermione, just for what you just said.'

'You have been avoiding him ever since we got back!' Hermione said defensively. ' You never go to the dungeons using the quickest route anymore because it passes through his office…You practically ran away when you saw the corner of his robes at the end of corridors…and remember that one time when—'

'Oh, for Merlin's sake, Hermione, leave the man alone.' Ron rolled his eyes again. 'What's wrong with wanting to avoid teachers? Especially a teacher who hates your father's guts and would deduct points for doing nothing!'

'Yeah.' Harry agreed, and felt a guilty satisfaction when Hermione bit her lip and didn't say anything. But his heart began to pound. How could he be so careless? Of course someone as observant as Hermione would notice his strange behavior sooner or later. After all, she was the smartest witch of her age…For the first time in five years; Harry suddenly wished that he doesn't have Hermione in the group.

The rest of the day passed like a dream to Harry. He drifted through Transfiguration, Charms and History of Magic. Not even Defense against the Dark Arts, his favorite subject of all time, could wake him up from his stupor. At the end of the day, even Ron was starting to get a bit comfortable with Harry's abnormal behavior.

'Are you feeling alright, Harry?' He asked worriedly at dinner, watching Harry as he pushed around bits of streak round in his plate.

'No one can feel alright when someone keeps watching your every move when you eat.' Harry muttered, determinedly not looking up at the teachers' table.

Ron glanced up, and saw what Harry meant at once. Severus Snape was barely touching his plate, his gleaming black eyes was fixed unblinkingly on Harry and his thin lips were moving silently, just like when he was muttering a countercurse for Harry during Harry's first ever Quidditch match.

'Is it just my imagination, or is Snape hexing Harry?' Ron nudged Hermione and asked out of the corner of his mouth, so that Neville, who was sitting dangerously close, would hear nothing.

'Oh no. Not again.' Hermione groaned under her breath. She darted a look between the teachers' table and Harry, her eyes narrowed into slits. Ron can practically hear her brain whirling into motion, various ideas zooming into her head.

'Setting him on fire won't help this time. He's reading Harry's mind.' Hermione whispered, looking back into her plate.

Ron nearly choked on the pumpkin juice he was gulping down. 'S-Sorry?' He coughed as Harry thumped his back absent-mindedly.

'Snape isn't hexing Harry. He is reading his mind.'

'No way, Hermione. You need to use you wand or something when you read minds. Dad told me about it…says that even You-Know-Who himself can't read minds just by muttering to himself!'

'Ron Weasley, will you use your brains for once in your life!' Hermione hissed so venomously that Ron actually flinched and recoiled. 'This is SNAPE we are talking about. You know how he is able to spy of Dumbledore and deceive You-Know-Who? He is an excellent Leglimenist and Occumist. I won't be surprised if he could read minds without raising his wand.'

'How do you know he isn't hexing Harry then?' Ron shot back at her.

'Because I know there are different eye contacts between hexing someone and reading someone's mind,' Hermione retorted haughtily. 'Now, you can either sit here and watch Snape messing with Harry's mind while listening to theories you will never understand, or you can get Harry out of here NOW.'

Ron heaved a sigh in defeat and turned to Harry with a bright smile, 'You up for Quidditch now? Come on; let's get going before Snape catches you for detention.'

Harry blinked at him slowly. It seemed to take him several seconds o figure out what Ron just said. Ron's heart dropped. _Could Snape have damaged Harry's mind already?_

'Sure. Let's go.' He said slowly, a small smile tugging at his lips.

'Alright then!' Ron leapt up from the bench, almost knocking over a very disgruntled Hermione as he did so, and dragged Harry out of the Hall. As they passed through the doors, Ron fleetingly darted a final glance at the teacher's table, and saw, to his utter amazement, then Snape had already left the table. Hermione looked worriedly after them, clearly having just noticed the same thing.

'Why don't you go off to the Quidditch field to make sure no one's hanging around and I will go up to get our brooms?' Harry suggested, looking instantly more cheerful once they were out of the Great Hall.

'Sure. See you in a mo.' Ron nodded and headed for the grounds.

Harry turned and headed for the spiral staircase that led to the Gryffindor Tower. His heart was still beating rapidly. Snape was watching him again…every night he was watching him. He could still feel his eyes burning into the back of his neck, making his hair stand up on end. _What is he doing? Why is he doing this to me?_ Harry thought exasperatedly. _I know Dumbledore told him to watch me like a hawk but this is way too far…_

'So, famous Harry Potter is above detention now, is it?'

Harry's heart stopped altogether. He slowly turned and found himself face to face with none other than Severus Snape, standing as menacingly as ever in his black robes, his eyes…_oh dear Merlin…those black eyes_…..boring into Harry's. 'I…'

'Ten points from Gryffindor for your pathetic attempt to lie Potter. Now walk down to the dungeons before I make it fifty.'

Hopelessness filled Harry. He could feel his body shaking, though for what reason he did not know…It was not fear. It was something else…something much darker, much more terrible than fear. As he descended down to the staircase to the cold dungeons with Snape following noiselessly behind him, he suddenly wished that Voldemort had killed him the day he came back to life. Comparing to the horrible, unfamiliar feeling squirming inside of him now, Death would be more than welcome. Harry Potter realized, for the first time in his life, that he was completely and undeniably trapped.

;End of Chapter Two


	3. Three:Unbearable Pain

Chapter 3: Unbearable Pain

'Harry, this has got to stop!'

Ever since Dumbledore summoned him to his office, Harry hasn't said a word to either Ron or Hermione throughout the week. In fact, it was like he wasn't there at all. He sat through classes gazing down at the page they were supposed to be reading without seeing the words, sat through meals without taking more than a few bites. Most of the time he just sat there gazing off into space with a tortured expression on his face. Both of Harry's best friends knew what was going on, and in the first few days they left him alone. But when Harry's zombie like state entered into the second week after Snape's death, they could hold back no longer.

Now Harry was sitting in front of the common room fireplace alone, gazing into the blazing fire unblinkingly, with his arms wrapped tight around his knees. At the sound of Hermione's voice, however, he started and got up to leave with a faintly annoyed expression on his face.

'No, you are not leaving, Harry. Not until you talk to us.' Hermione grabbed his arm firmly and forced him to sit back down. Ron stood timidly behind Hermione, looking sheepishly and apologetically at Harry.

'Look, guys, I am really not up to this today, okay?' Harry closed his eyes and rubbed his forehead. His head was aching terribly, and his scar was still burning dully. There was nothing more he wanted other than..

(_Severus Snape?)_

…than a good night's sleep. 'I am going to bed.'

'Oh, don't insult our intelligence, Harry. Everyone can see that you couldn't sleep a wink.' Hermione snapped.

'Maybe it's time you come back to us, mate. We-we miss you, you know?' Ron said. Hermione nodded in agreement.

Recognizing his defeat, Harry sat back down. Ron and Hermione seated themselves on either side of him. Hermione opened her mouth to begin but Harry cut her off first, 'Before you say anything, I am feeling perfectly okay.' He said firmly, glaring into the fire again.

Ron tried hard not to roll his eyes, exchanging an exasperated look with Hermione.' Oh yes, Harry, we can see that. You have always behaved like you have just been Kissed by Dementors, you have always ignored us whenever we talk to you, you have always been staring off into space…'

'Alright I get the general idea!' Harry snapped. 'Will you two just say what you are gonna say and then leave me the hell alone?'

'FINE!' Hermione turned Harry round to look at her. '_Snape's death isn't your fault.'_

_And here we go again. _Harry thought. 'Okay, point taken. Is that all? Because I really don't want to talk about Sn…about him tonight' He still couldn't quite manage to say or even think Severus's name without choking.

'We all know that whenever someone you know dies, you can always find a way to blame yourself. You think they all died because of you…'

'And that is more or less true, Hermione.' Harry's anger began to flare up again. 'Let's see who had died after I was born, shall we? First, my parents. THEY died because Voldemort came after ME. And then SIRIUS, who died because I was stupid enough to BELIEVE VOLDEMORT and LET HIM USE ME. And now Snape,' The all too familiar lump rose up painfully at the name, and he had to swallow hard before continuing,' HE died because Dumbledore told him to protect ME from Voldemort, Seeing a connection there, Hermione?'

'YES. _Voldemort.' _Hermione pronounced the name clearly, emphasizing each syllable. Next to him, Ron flinched. Both of them ignored him. 'Harry, they died because of _Voldemort. _Just like the Merlin-knows how many people he had murdered. Are you going to blame yourself because of them too? Because if that is the case, we will just leave you to it.'

Harry looked away from her. How could he ever make them understand? How could he possibly explain to them how he feels right now? 'I am not feeling over Severus Snape, okay?' He croaked, stumbling over the name so as not to let his voice break. He felt the invisible hand clawing at his heart again, tearing it out chunk by chunk, as it had done ever since-

'Come on, Harry.' Ron said. 'It's perfectly normal for you to mourn after Sirius, but moaning after _Severus Snape…._' He pronounced the name with venom and disgust. Harry had a sudden urge to hit him. He closed his eyes and clasped his hands together as tightly as he could. They were shaking uncontrollably. 'Harry, he might be working for Dumbledore, but that doesn't change the fact that he is a slimy bastard.'

'And on the matter that he is _protecting you…_' Hermione went on. 'Let's have a review of his past achievements, shall we? First year, you were already hanging off your broom about thirty feet from the ground before he muttered his little counter curse. And then where was he when you almost got killed by Quirrell? Third year, you almost got your soul sucked out by hundreds of Dementors and then he _dares _try to take credit after you saved all our lives…And last year, you had to face Voldemort ALONE, and I repeat, ALONE, in that graveyard and-'

'Will you please stop blaming him for everything that had happened to me?' Harry shouted. 'He doesn't even like me.' _You liar, Potter. _'He hated my father. He didn't _have _to protect me. And most of the stuff that happened to me was mostly because I am too much of a fool to _think _before I _act.' _

'Have you been swallowing all that rubbish Snape told you? About how you are as useless as your father and being a nuisance strutting about the castle and acting the hero?' Ron demanded. 'Are you honestly telling me that you _believe _all those stuff?'

_I lied every time I said you are just like your father. You are nothing like him, and you will never be. No matter how much you look like him, you are not James Potter._

Harry's eyes began stinging horribly. He quickly blinked several times. 'No,' He managed to say. 'No, I don't. And I am not going through this with you two anymore.'

He stood up before either of them could stop him and went up to the dormitory. There he threw himself face down on the four poster bed and screamed into his pillow. The claw ripping out his heart was craving a hold in it now, making it bleed and bleed and bleed…

_You have always hated me, haven't you?_

_Ah, I see you are no different from any others. Hoodwinked by my little act. Maybe you do have some of your father in you after all. How disappointing, Potter._

_Severus!_

_Don't take that as an insult, Potter. As I recall, you seemed to be quite fond of your father…Understandable, seeing as he's such a great Quidditch hero…and not to mention that he saved my life from a werewolf…_

_That was before I saw what he did to you in the Pensieve! I mean, how could he…how does he dare…?_

_Ah, I see what the problem is now. You are worried about my virginity, is that it? You are worried that once I have my pants down, everyone will just be fighting to fuck me…Or are you worried about the morality of the person you are sleeping with?_

_NO, I AM NOT! _

_Would it be a comfort to your possessive nature, Mr. Potter, to know that no everyone desires me as much as you?_

_You are totally getting off the point here, Severus._

_The point is, Harry, THERE IS NO ONE ELSE I WANT OTHER THAN YOU._

End of Chapter Three


	4. Four: Detetion of Insanity

Chapter 4: Detention of Insanity

'Sit!' Snape barked as soon as they entered the dungeon. With a sense of dread getting ever heavier, he sat down at one of the tables. Then he glanced around to see what disgusting detention Snape had prepared for him. But he saw no cauldron dripping with slime, or any bucket filled with the liver of small animals. In fact, it looked as if Snape hadn't prepared anything for him at all. Harry's insides went cold: What could Snape possibly be planning to do with him?

He found Snape glaring at him from the dungeon door without saying a word. The penetrating gaze made Harry extremely uncomfortable. It was like Snape was seeing into his soul, searching for something in his mind…

'So.' Snape finally spoke in a low, dangerous voice, without taking his eyes off Harry. 'What the hell are you doing?'

Harry was so taking aback by this question that he actually stared at Snape with his mouth hanging slightly open. 'S-sorry?' He stammered.

Then the look in Snape's eyes changed. The black eyes were no longer gleaming with hatred or loathing…it was gleaming with…someone completely different.

'Don't think you can fool me with your childish innocence, Potter. You have been deliberately skipping Potions, and I know you had been deliberately making yourself ill so you don't have to do detentions…Do you know how much points I can deduct from your House for your actions, Potter?'

Harry looked into the thin, sallow face that he had hated for five years. He could feel anger boiling up inside his head. Five years of suppressed anger for the man in front of him…five years of never- ending bullying, sarcasm, insults. How much more does he have to take?'

'You can take as many points as you want, and I won't care.'

'What did you say, Potter?'

'You heard me. Don't you ever get tired of this?' Harry's voice began to get louder.' Why-why are you doing this? Why are you always picking on me? What have I ever done to you?'

'Mind your tone with me, Potter.'

'NO, I WON'T!' Harry stood up and kicked the chair away from him. He was completely out of control now. He doesn't care anymore. There were only him and Snape in here now. He didn't have to hide his hatred. Snape can take all the points from Gryffindor for all he cared. He won't let Snape win this time. NOT THIS TIME, when they were all alone and he does not have to mind his behavior. He is NOT going to be Snape's punch bag this time. He is NOT. 'You are just downright pathetic! Just because my father played a joke on you when you were young you had to remember it forever and take it out on ME. I am NOT my father, okay? I am his blasted SON. I don't have to be bullied and treated like shit by you. Get on with your life, would you, you pathetic bastard!'

A ringing silence fell between them. Snape's lips had gone very white, and his face had gone so pale that it seemed like all the blood had drained out of him. Harry was breathing heavily, glaring at Snape with almost a crazed fury. After what seems like centuries, Snape spoke in a clipped voice. 'Are you finished, Potter?'

'Do you really care whether I am or not?' Harry snarled. 'Take as many points as you like, expel me. I am not taking back what I said.'

There was something new burning in Snape's eyes now. He no longer looked as if he hated Harry. He looked…curious. His black eyes were gleaming with a sort of fiery interest. The fiery serpent inside Harry died…replaced by an unfamiliar tingling feeling at the pit of his stomach.

'Do you mean it?' Snape said quietly.

_Merlin, his eyes…his damn eyes..._ 'Yes, I do.' He replied just as quietly.

Snape continued to look at him with that strange, curious look. The tingling feeling was growing stronger now. Harry swallowed. _Oh God, what is going on?_

'Very well, Mr. Potter.' Snape said in a strangely soft voice. 'Very well. You may go.' His eyes never left Harry's.

'You-you are not going to say anything?' Harry asked, bewildered.

'And what would you like me to say, Potter?' His voice was beginning to regain some of its usual irony. 'And I suggest you to get out of my dungeon now before I change my mind. GO. NOW. '

Harry continued to stare at Snape. The Potions Master was no longer looking at him, but staring past him with an unreadable expression on his face. He tore his eyes from the black ones, and walked towards the door. As he passed Snape, something made him stop.

The man was standing so close to him that he could smell the scent of him. It was a mixed odor of musk and almond, unable to stay hidden in his black robes. The scent swirled around Harry and made his head spin. He took a deep breath and breathed out slowly, wishing to clear the intoxicating scent out of his head.

'Leave, Potter. Now.' Snape whispered again, still not looking at him.

Harry couldn't move. The tingling feeling had already spread through his body to his fingers now. Leaving was impossible. He needed to feel…he needed to touch those black robes…he needed to…_Oh God, what's happening to me?_ He needed to…

Then Snape looked at him, and everything in Harry's mind went blank once those burning black eyes found the green ones.

Harry leaned his face close to Snape's and breathed in the sweet aroma. Before Snape could react, Harry's lips were on his, his hands reaching out to seize handfuls of the front of his robes to pull him closer. And soft, heated lips pressed on his, and arms began to wrap around him, Harry didn't know where he was anymore, or what he was doing…he didn't even remember his name. All he knew was that he needed to keep breathing in the irresistible scent, feel the black robes rubbing under his fingers…feel those lips pressing and crushing on his…

'Stop.' Snape gasped, and gripped Harry's arms firmly. He tore his mouth away from Harry's. And Harry's senses slowly returned to him. He looked at his hands, which are still gripping Snape's robes tightly, and at the way Snape gripped his arms, and stared at Snape with a look of utmost horror. He released Snape's robes and stumbled backwards, horrified at what had just happened.

Snape was staring at Harry the way he had stared at him in second year after he had heard Harry spoke Parseltongue. Harry looked away from him. _God, I have just KISSED Snape…I have just kissed a TEACHER, and not just any teacher…I had KISSED SNAPE…oh, God…_

'Let go of me.' Harry said hoarsely, aware that Snape's grip on his arm was beginning to hurt quite painfully.

'Do you mean it?' Snape asked again in a voice Harry had never heard him use before. His eyes were no longer burning with that strange gleam. It was calmer now. Though Harry could still feel their gaze scorching him, even if he was not looking at them.

'You told me to leave, Professor. Will you please let go of my arm?' He repeated, wishing more than anything he could just die right there on the spot.

Snape let go of him, though his scorching eyes were burning through Harry's skin. The taste on Snape's lips on his still lingered, not to mention the seductive scent of the Potion Master. Harry felt both sick and relieved at the same time. He wanted to stay and kiss Snape until he could breathe no more. He wanted to scream and get out of Hogwarts and never see those black, blazing eyes ever again…He wanted….He wanted this all to be some kind of sick, twisted and he would wake up, safe, in his four poster bed, perhaps with his shirt sticking to his back, drenched in sweat…

He was out of the dungeons before he knew it. And then he ran. He ran back up to the brightly lit corridor, a world in which he could forget what happened down there. A place where he could escape from Snape's endless black eyes. He ran past Ron, who opened his mouth and shut it again when he saw the expression on Harry's face, and past the Great Hall and up, up, up to the Gryffindor Tower.

Once he was in the empty dormitory, he drew the curtains shut and sat down on his bed, burying his face in his hands. He could remember the softness of Snape's lips, the way they moved with his, both hard and soft at the same time…the way he grabbed his arm, the look in his eyes…

_I kissed Severus Snape. I kissed a man who loathed me ever since he set eyes on me. I kissed a teacher._

As Harry shrugged out of his robes into his pajamas, he saw a purple bruise forming on his left arm, right where Snape had touched him. He quickly rolled down his sleeves and got under the covers, closing his eyes, knowing that he's about to go through a hell of a night.

End of Chapter Four


	5. Five: Potions With A New Master

Chapter 5: Potions with a New Master

'Double Potions today!' Ron said, dropping into the seat nest to Harry.

Harry ignored him and continued buttering his toast. Ron didn't say anything when he came back to the dormitory, even though he knew Harry was wide awake. After Harry had stormed up to the dormitory last night, Ron and Hermione had decided to leave the matter of Snape's death aside for the moment, at least until Harry was ready. In the meantime, they would just have to tolerate Harry's zombie state as best they could.

'Wonder who will be teaching us?' Ron went on, examining his schedule.

Hermione, who was sitting opposite them reading the _Daily Prophet_, replied without looking up. 'Lucius Malfoy.'

'WHAT?' Both Harry and Ron yelped. Several people turned their heads to look at them. Ron gave them a shooing gesture and turned back to Hermione with wide eyes. 'Did I hear you right? Lucius-_Lucius Malfoy?_'

'Well, that explains why Malfoy was looking so smug these last few days!' Harry said heatedly, looking over at the Slytherin table where Malfoy was sneering at Harry triumphantly, his blue eyes gleaming with pleasure at Harry's shock.

'What's Dumbledore playing at?' Ron demanded. 'First Snape,' Harry's heart gave a painful jolt at the name. 'Now Lucius Malfoy. Lucius-fucking-Malfoy! Why is Dumbledore always hiring Death Eaters, eh? Or does he even scan resumes? And how did YOU know about it?' He rounded on Hermione.

'Because,' Hermione threw down her paper and glared at Ron. 'He's sitting right up there.'

Harry and Ron quickly looked up. Indeed, Lucius Malfoy was sitting up at the teacher's table, sitting beside Dumbledore, his long, sleek, white-blonde hair in perfect harmony with Dumbledore's beard. He appeared to be deep in conversation with the Headmaster, his lips curling with the usual shadow of contempt. As Harry looked at him, a shot of white-hot anger he had never felt before flashed across his mind. _He was there when…when HE died. He was just standing there, watching his fellow Death Eater die…just STANDING THERE…doing NOTHING…_

_I had to favor Draco Malfoy out of respect for his father…_

Then Lucius Malfoy turned and looked straight at him.

Loathing, hatred, anger. Harry felt a mixture of all those feelings as the grey eyes fixed onto his. It was a totally different gaze from Snape's. It was cruel…and somewhat insulting. As if he knew exactly how much pain Harry was in and was laughing at him. His lips curled into a knowing sneer, and he nodded in his direction. Then he turned back to Dumbledore again as if he had never broken off their conversation.

'Well, that's just great!' Ron said angrily, slamming his Potions textbook onto the table so hard that he knocked over his pumpkin juice. Hermione quickly snatched up her newspaper to avoid the spreading stain of the pumpkin juice, glaring at Ron accusingly. 'Malfoy's dad teaching us _Potions_…I am not even gonna try to make a decent Potion anymore…and you, Hermione, he is bound to fail every Muggle-born he sees…and Malfoy…God!' He cracked his knuckles. 'Just think of the way he will act…he probably think he totally rules the school now…What the _hell _is Dumbledore _playing at_?' He glared up at the Headmaster.

'Well, look on the bright side.' Hermione said gravely. 'The Slytherins don't have to think of any nasty tricks to get Gryffindor into trouble anymore…Malfoy's dad will just deduct every point from our House anyway… and Harry does not have to put up with those awful remarks about his father anymore…'

Harry wasn't listening. He was already thinking how he was going to get through Double Potions today…or how is he _ever _going to get through Potions again…Maybe he will just do what Hermione in Divination in their third year…simply walk out of the classroom and drop the subject altogether…Oh yeah, that'd take Gryffindor about a hundred and fifty points at least and he would probably be expelled on the spot, which, come to think of it, wouldn't be such a bad idea.

'Come on.' He muttered, grabbing his bag. 'Let's just get down to the dungeons now. I can't bear the look on Malfoy's face.'

'Right on.' Ron gave the teacher's table a glare of deepest loathing and got up from the bench. 'Coming, Hermione? Let's get you out of here before he takes fifty points off you from eating at the breakfast table or something.'

'Oh, how protective, Ronald Weasley.' Hermione snapped and got up from the table. Ron actually went a bit pink

'Good Morning.' Lucius Malfoy's smooth, snide voice silenced the babble in the dungeon instantly. Everyone watched as he strolled into the room, dressing neatly in his black robes and holding a silver skull-headed cane. Harry tried not to remember the way Snape's robes sway behind him as he swept into the room, the way he walked to the desk and turn to face the class, the way his eyes rested on his before he began the lesson…His eyes began to sting horribly, and he quickly stared down at his Potions book. He is not gonna give Lucius Malfoy know what he had done to him…He is not going to give him the satisfaction…

'Well now, class.' Lucius walked to the front of the room and faced the class, his cold grey eyes scanning every face in the room, lingering particularly long on Harry's. 'I trust some of you have heard my name or even seen me before, but for those who have not…My name is Lucius Malfoy and you would kindly address me as 'Professor' or 'Sir' when you speak to me, and that goes for each and everyone of you.' His eyes rested on his son, who rolled his eyes. 'Honestly, Father, there is no need-.'

'Ten points from Slytherin, Mr Malfoy, for your insolence.' Lucius snapped. Quiet murmurs went through the room. No Slytherin had ever lost a point in Potions before. Ron spoke in Harry's ear, 'Guess the old git is really taking his job seriously, eh?' Draco looked murderously at his father and opened his mouth to retort. 'If I were you, Mr Malfoy, I would not say another word unless you want to lose your House another ten points.' Lucius cut him off smoothly. Pansy Parkinson patted Draco's hand sympathetically, shaking her head at Lucius in an expression of mock understanding.

'Now,' Lucius said. 'Though I may not be as…experienced…in Potions as your former Potions Master, I will, to the best of my ability, to ensure that all of you will get the best education that the school could provide. You will be learning the art of Potion making through a whole new learning programme that the school governors have designed especially for you. I know that some of you,' His eyes rolled over to Neville Longbottom, whose worst subject was Potions and was often scared out of his wits by Snape's constant criticisms and insults, 'may not be as capable as keeping up with Potions as others, but be rest assured that I will make sure each and every one of you will be able to become an outstanding Potion maker by the end of this year…'

His voice trailed off meaningfully, and though he was trying to maintain what was supposed to be a fatherly expression, his eyes suggested the exact opposite. 'Your honorable late Professor Snape and I were very close friends, and I mourn for the loss of this rare, gifted man.'

His grey eyes returned to Harry again, and this time Harry looked him straight in the eye. If it is a game Lucius Malfoy wants, then Harry wasn't going to back down without a fight.

'Mr Potter.' Lucius walked over to their table. Ron uttered a silent groan. Harry glared unblinkingly at him. 'I am sorry to hear from the Headmaster that you and Professor Snape were not on the best of terms, and that this had greatly affected your performance in class. Well, I am sure that you and I will have no difficulties maintaining a…how shall we call it…positive relationship?'

Harry could think of a thousand things to throw back at the sly bastard, each of which will cost Gryffindor a hundred points and him a month's detention at least. But he is NOT going to give Lucius Malfoy the satisfaction, he is NOT going to let Draco Malfoy gloat over how his blessed father had struck Harry's nerve…

'I hope so, Sir.' He managed to say through gritted teeth.

'I am glad to hear it.' Lucius's lips curled into a cold smile. 'I hope you will develop a new interest in Potions from now on, Mr Potter.'

He walked away, Harry glaring at the back of his robes, wishing that he knew how to jinx him without raising his wand.

_Teach me, Severus._

_Do try to be more specific, Mr. Potter. I may know how to read your mind, but I don't wish to do that unnecessarily._

_Teach me to do what you can do._

_I can do and have done a lot of things, most of which I do not wish to mention, let alone teaching them to an underage student._

_Severus…_

_That will be the end of this discussion, Potter._

'What's he playing at?' Ron's voice startled him out of his reverie. He blinked, 'Huh?'

'He's basically kissing your arse! _Lucius Malfoy! Kissing your arse right in front of his own son! _You don't supoose…Dumbledore…'

'Dumbledore asking Lucius Malfoy to fawn all over me? Come on.' Harry said, though his head was full of questions. _What the hell is going on?_

They didn't brew anything today( much to Neville's relief). Instead, Lucius Malfoy got them all down to make notes on the properties of each of the most commonly used ingredients in Potion making. 'If one does not understand the property of an ingredient,' He said. 'One cannot brew a perfect potion.' When everyone was busily scribbling down everything he said, he even made an astounding announcement that was never heard in a Potions class before. 'Ten points to Gryffindor, Mr Potter, for your willingness to cooperate.'

Every eye turned upon Harry to see his reaction. Harry kept his head bent down on his notebook, determined not to look at Lucius. He doesn't want to meet his cruel, searching gaze…

The bell rang at that crucial moment, and everyone closed their books and got ready to leave. As Harry, Ron and Hermione were at the door, Lucius called out behind them.

'Mr. Potter, would you kindly stay a minute?'

Ron and Hermione stared at Harry. Ron was shaking his head, while Hermione looked suspiciously at Lucius. Lucius obviously noticed their hesitation, because he added in a cold voice. 'You may go, Miss Granger and Mr. Weasley.'

Ron and Hermione gave Harry a pitying glance before leaving the room. Once the door was closed, Harry turned to face the man he so wanted to kill. Lucius Malfoy was still looking at him with that cruel gaze.

'How are you feeling, Mr Potter?' He asked softly

'Very well, Sir.'

'Oh, do not fool me.' Lucius said, stepping closer to Harry. 'I think we both know how you really feel about Severus's death.'

_You dare call him by his name, you filthy bastard, after you watched him…_ 'I don't think I quite understand you, Sir.'

'He was the Dark Lord's favourite, you know.' Lucius went on, ignoring Harry. 'He was so talented in the Dark Arts, so cunning…so clever. Alas, he chose the wrong path…he chose YOU.'

Harry said nothing. Much as he wanted to deny it, he knew Lucius Malfoy was telling the truth.

'I have often wondered…' Lucius whispered, standing so close to Harry now that his skin crawled with disgust. '…what would've compelled him to protect a boy who caused the Dark Lord's downfall…what would've made him turn against the greatest wizard of all time…what would've persuaded him to turn spy for a traitor like Albus Dumbledore…'

He raised his hand to brush aside Harry's fringe, revealing his scar. Harry began to step back, realization slowly dawning on him. Lucius seized his arm and pulled him closer. So close that their faces were only inches from each other…

'I will kill you if you let him lay a finger on you.'

It was the voice of Severus Snape.eaHeHEDD


	6. Six: Caught In The Act

Chapter 6: Caught In the Act

'Double Potions this afternoon!' Ron groaned when the schedule was passed down to their table. 'And worse…with Slytherin!'

Harry went on concentrating on his breakfast. He had already got two Puking Pastilles in his robes. There is NO WAY he was going to face Snape today…What happened the night before came back to him…the seductive smell of Snape…his lips on Harry's…Harry suppressed a shiver and clenched his fists. _God, why did I do that? Why did I….and why did I like it so much?_

'Where were you last night?' Ron demanded Harry. 'I thought we were playing Quidditch, and then you just ran past…'

'Got caught by Snape.' was all that he could answer.

'I guessed as much. The way you looked last night…Thought you would really kill someone.' Ron helped himself to a muffin and began attacking it hungrily. Hermione raised her eyebrows disapprovingly. 'What happened? Snape wasn't around when we separated.'

'Maybe he was lurking corners or something…wouldn't be the first time.' Harry said, not looking at him.

'Well, what did he make you do?'

_I kissed him and practically ran out of the dungeon before I end up raping him or something…_ 'Just the usual stuff.'

'Are you sure that was all Snape made you do last night, Harry?' Hermione asked.

His eyes snapped. Hermione was looking at him with concern, her forehead frowning slightly. 'Yes, why?'

Without warning, Hermione seized his arm and pushed up his sleeve. The bruise that had been forming on his skin since last night was now both purple and black, shockingly in contrast to his pale skin. Harry wanted to kick himself for not putting something over it, or thought up of a good excuse. But what really surprised him was that, though the bruise looked serious, he hadn't felt anything at all. Now he came to look at it, he could see the outer contours of five fingers. He quickly wrenched his arm away from Hermione, pushing down his sleeve, heart pounding.

'Bloody hell, Harry.' Ron said, his muffin falling out of his hands. 'What did he DO?'

'Nothing!' Harry said defensively. 'I just banged my arm on the cauldron when I was scrubbing it, like the prat I am.'

'Harry, we have been with you for five years.' Hermione said exasperatedly. 'This is the first time we know that you're not telling the truth. Has Snape been abusing you?'

'No, he- '

'You should go to Dumbledore!' Ron said firmly. 'That git could get sacked for this…Laying his hands on a student…'

'And look at the way he is still watching you.' Hermione added, glancing up at the teacher's table. 'He is practically _daring you _to do something.'

Harry didn't dare look up, but, of course, he could feel Snape's searing gaze on the back of his neck. _God, the things he will say in class? 'Famous Harry Potter appears to be harboring dark desires for teachers…Is this another one of your tricks to make the front page, Potter? If it is, I will certainly grant your wish…' And what will Ron and Hermione say? What will the Slytherins and his other classmates say? He will never hear the end of it..._Harry's head felt ready to burst.

'No.' He replied. 'I am not going to give Snape the satisfaction, if that's really what he wants.'

'But- ' Hermione began. Harry glared at her. 'Look, I have this sorted, okay?'

'Leave him alone, Hermione, he knows what he's doing.' Ron said, though still looking at Harry worriedly. Hermione bit her lip.

Severus Snape watched Harry Potter from the teacher's table. He was still shocked from what had happened last night, and Potter was too, by the disturbed look on his face. He still didn't know why he had decided to corner Potter right after dinner last night. But right after he had rummaged through the boy's mind and found nothing that explains his actions, Snape knew he had to do _something. Anything_ at all.

_And why do I suddenly care so much about how the boy acts anyway?_

Because, Snape argued with himself, Dumbledore told me to keep a blasted eye on him and see if he is acting strangely, in case Voldemort had found a chance to possess him.

_The boy's right, Severus Snape. You really are pathetic. You have practically been following the boy and his friends everywhere, and you felt more than angry when he doesn't show up in class. Worst of all, you actually look forward to him coming down to do his detentions with you…What do you want with the boy, Snape?_

What I want and what I may have are too different things.

_Then why the hell did you let him touch you?_

Why did he touch me in the first place is the question.

As he watched, Granger suddenly seized Potter's arm and pushed up his sleeve. There, a shocking mark upon the boy's pale skin, was the result of his yesterday's blunder. Both of his friends' eyes went wide, and Snape suddenly felt a hot surge of irrational anger. _This is not for your eyes…_

Apparently Potter felt the same, for he quickly wrenched his arm out of Granger's grip and pushed his sleeve back down with an irritated expression. Then Granger glanced up at him, her eyes narrowed. He didn't like the look in her eyes…it was as if she _knew. _He quickly looked away from her. He is NOT going to let this Muggle-born girl found out what happened between Potter and him. He's NOT going to let the boy get away with it, and he would make sure they sort it between themselves.

_Are you sure that the boy hadn't already told his friends?_

Of course he hadn't. Anyone who has brains wouldn't…

_You don't KNOW Harry Potter, Severus Snape. He considers them his loyal companions. If he had really told, then you can just compose your resignation letter right now_

He was the one who threw himself at me…

_Is that what you are going to say to Dumbledore when he questions you about it? I don't know if you have noticed, but the idea of you molesting the boy is certainly more convincing than the other way round_

Damn it all…

_You still don't know what the point is here, do you? How do you know that the boy didn't do that to get you in trouble? He hates you, and you know it…_

If he honestly thinks that he can get rid of me by using that little trick of his…

_And he certainly can. If you allow yourself to be alone with him and give him the chance…_

Snape looked at Potter again. The fifteen-year-old boy was, undeniably, unlike other boys of his age. Not just because of the scar on his forehead, but because of the mysterious and thoughtful air about him. His skin, pale as moonstone, shone under the light. And most of all, his green eyes made him almost irresistible…

Snape's fists clenched. If he still wanted his job, then he'd better start staying away as far away from the boy as possible.

'Harry, you can't be serious.' Hermione groaned as she saw Harry unwrapping a Puking Pastille during lunch. 'You are skipping Potions _again? _Why?'

'Because Snape is a git and I have no interest in listening to his usual shit about my father?' Harry shot back.

'You can't avoid him forever, you know.' Hermione said, looking at Harry meaningfully.

'I am NOT avoiding him. I just don't want to see his gloating face after detention last night, that's all…'

'So he did abuse you.' Ron said triumphantly. 'Harry, it's not a matter of letting Snape win or not. You have GOT TO GO TO DUMBLEDORE. He could get sacked because of this…which is what everyone wants, right?'

'RON!' Hermione glared at him accusingly and turned back to Harry. 'Harry, we would understand if you don't want to talk about this, but-'

'Good, because I REALLY don't want to talk about this.' Harry cut her off and bit of one end of the Puking Pastille before either of them could stop him.

'Well, let's get you to Pomfrey's before you vomit all over the place. Come on.' Ron said in a resigned voice.

'Really, what has the school been offering you all these days?' Madam Pomfrey said, watching as Harry threw up noisily into a bucket, his face green and full of sweat.

Ron shrugged. 'Maybe the food doesn't agree with him.'

'Oh, very well, Mr. Weasley, you may go back to class.' Madam Pomfrey said, already bustling round to make Harry something to stop the vomiting. 'Goodness me,' She turned to Harry as Ron left. 'You have been here quite often this term, haven't you? Are you sure you are not coming down with the flu or anything, dear?'

'No.' Harry croaked, taken over by yet another wave of vomiting.

'Well, at least you are still conscious every time you are here.' Pomfrey poured out a purple-black mixture of something that smelled like overcooked lettuce. 'Consider that a progress. Drink this up then. And get ready for a rough time when the potion takes effect.'

Harry waited till she was out of sight and quickly bit off the remaining end of the Puking Pastille. The vomiting ceased instantly. He quickly poured the mixture into the bucket and then slumped back onto the pillows, feeling both childish and angry with himself.

He should've gone and face Snape. He should've shown Snape that what happened last night was NOTHING, and that he was not afraid of his reaction. Instead, here he was, hiding out in the hospital wing like a coward. Harry groaned and turned over to his side. What the hell had gotten into him last night?

As his eyes began to close in fatigue (a convenient counter-effect of the Puking Pastille), he saw something that almost made him puke all over again.

Severus Snape was standing in the doorway, watching him with a look of what could only be anger.


	7. Seven:Mediation with Death

Chapter 7: Mediation with Death

'I will kill you if you let him touch you.'

Harry almost jumped out of his skin at the voice. He started, and regained his senses. He drew his arm back from Lucius's grip. No one was allowed to touch him that way…no one except…

'Get away from him. Now.' Severus's voice, clear and full of anger, said in his head.

Not entirely sure of his sanity, Harry stepped back from Lucius Malfoy, who was looking at him with an amused expression on his face.

'There is no need for alarm, _Harry._' He said, in a gentle voice that made Harry's hair stood up. 'I only wish to examine the damage the Dark Lord had done to you. It's a tragic thing to happen…to such an innocent, beautiful boy such as you. But it's a comfort to you, isn't it, when Severus took you under his wing? If you only knew how much your life means to him…gave him something to fight for…Why, he turned against the Dark Lord for you…'

'Don't listen to him, you fool! Go!' Severus's voice urged.

'Thank you, Professor. That is a comfort indeed.' Harry replied, meeting Lucius's gaze unblinkingly.

'Of course, Harry. If only I don't have to prepare for my next class…and you don't classes to attend, I would've given you more consolation.'

Harry nodded, and turned to leave. His heart was beating rapidly. He could feel Lucius's eyes on his back.

'If you need someone to talk to, Harry,' He said after him. 'You may come to me. I am always available for you to talk to…especially when you are going through sleepless nights…You may find me more…understanding than your peers.'

Harry didn't dare turn back. He wasn't sure what he'd do if he looked at Lucius at this moment. He walked out of the dungeons as fast as he could.

He had heard the voice of _him…_he had heard him _speak _in his head…

Perhaps it's just his imagination? A hallucination out of fear for Lucius Malfoy? That doesn't seem unlikely…

_That must be it._ Harry thought as he turned to the staircase that led to the North Tower. _He is dead. I will never see him again. Maybe Ron and Hermione are right. I got to stop this before I lose my mind…not to mention that I will give Lucius Malfoy the satisfaction…_

'Ah, Mr. Potter.' came the mournful voice of Sybil Trelawney, their Divination teacher and Harry's most dreaded person in the world as he entered the room. 'I will beginning to worry that the ill Fate that has been lying in your path had befell you at last…'

'I am sorry I am late, Professor.' Harry said, not interested in hearing another prediction that he would die soon. 'I got held up by Professor Malfoy. _Merlin, _just thinking about the goddamn _name _sets his teeth on edge…

'Of course, my dear child.' replied Trelawney, gazing at Harry pityingly with her overly enlarged eyes through her spectacles, 'I have foreseen that our new Potions Master will be extending his consolations to you…after what happened to our late Professor Snape…' A large tear formed at the edge of her eye and she delicately wiped it away with her shawl. 'Perhaps the less spoken on the subject, the better. Please take your seat, my child, and take comfort in the spiritual world.'

Harry took his place at the table with Ron, who asked him the minute he sat down, 'so what did Malfoy want with you? He hasn't given you a detention _already_, has he?'

'No. He just…' _Molested me._ 'He just said some rubbish about being able to help me with Potions and that he hopes we can get on well…'

'What is he _doing_, anyway?' Ron demanded. 'Why is he being so disgustingly _nice _to you? You don't suppose…' He looked at Harry with wide eyes.

'What?'

'Dumbledore asked _him _to protect you now that Snape's dead?'

Indignation quickly replaced the usual pain from the mention of Snape's name. 'No way. _Everyone knows _Lucius Malfoy is a Death Eater! Why don't Dumbledore just hand me to Voldemort on a silver platter instead of having him fawning all over me?'

'Oh yeah…right.'

'Children,' the misty voice of Trelawney cut their conversation. 'Today, we will have a day of…' She took a deep breath and let it out slowly. '…Mediation.'

An excited murmur went through the whole room. Mediation means that they could sleep through two whole lessons. 'Before you get lost in the world of your own thoughts and desires, however…' She raised her voice. 'Each of you must record down what you have seen in the Mediation Diary I have given you…I am sure by this time each of you would've seen a pattern in your mediations by now.'

Both Harry and Ron stifled a laugh. The two of them had actually made up page after page of how their visions of indicated death and destruction will soon descend on them. As for Harry, well, Trelawney had always seen a pattern herself…That he would die of a young age and get buried in some unknown place, the end of the tragic life of the Boy who lived.

'Now, relax yourselves! Let your mind fly away from the mundane world and into the spiritual universe!' Trelawney raised her voice, relaxing herself into her chair. The fumes and smoke in the room started to make Harry drowsy, he could faintly hear Ron's snores nearby already…his eyelids drooped…

'WHAT WERE YOU THINKING?'

The thunderous voice shocked Harry out of his skin. He quickly opened his eyes and was amazed to find that he was not in the stuffy room of Trelawney's anymore. Instead, he was in an office. And not just any office. It was the office of _Severus Snape. _Harry blinked. And when he opened them again, someone was standing in front of him. He raised his eyes.

And looked into the depthless, black eyes of Severus Snape.

Harry stared. Then he reached out and touched the black robes. It was smooth as silk, warm, _solid _as ever. He was not transparent, nor made of smoke. He was _really there, _towering over him and glaring at him with anger practically burning in his eyes.

'Before you say anything like "I thought you were dead", Potter, answer me. What were you thinking?!'

Confusion replaced Harry's incredulity. 'What? I don't…'

'You know full well what I mean!' Snape…_Severus…_roared. Harry flinched. 'Just because I am gone doesn't mean you can throw yourself into the arms of the first Death Eater you get your hands on!'

'But…'

'No, don't say anything. I am in no mood for your feeble excuses.' Severus cut him off, fire blazing in his eyes. He had never looked so…so _alive, _so _real._ 'Harry, I spent the last minutes and the whole cursed time of my life trying to protect your little wretched life and you promised me that you wouldn't do anything _stupid…_'

'What do you care anyway? You are DEAD. You left me…_after _you _promised_ that you would never leave me!' Harry retorted, blinking rapidly to stop the tears from welling up behind his eyes. 'Why did you come and save me? Why did you have to stand between me and Voldemort? Why…?'

'Don't you question me about my motives after you let the second most cold-blooded killer after Bellatrix Lestrange molest you! Lucius Malfoy, Harry? Where are your brains?'

'Well I didn't ask for this to happen!' Harry said heatedly, glaring into Severus's eyes. He still couldn't believe he's arguing with his late…lover. But they would discuss that later. Right now, he needed to clear this mess up. '_He_ was the one who asked me to stay after class! I didn't ask for this.'

'And yet you let him _touch you_!' Severus ignored him. 'You let the bastard touch you? What would've happened if I hadn't interfered, eh? Fucked him right then and there?'

'Severus…'

'Don't you Severus me! Harry, I happened to _care about _who you place your _trust and affection _to. I could've still been able to tolerate it if you turn to Ronald Weasley for your next object of affection but no, it appears that Famous Harry Potter has a particular regard to Death Eaters. And, not just any Death Eater, but a Death Eater who wanted him dead. What do you think you are doing?'

_He's jealous…_Harry realized with awe. _Even though he's dead, I am still his…_

'I am glad you finally acknowledge that.' Severus said darkly, the flames finally beginning to die in his eyes.

'Quit reading my mind.' Harry snapped.

'I am _in_ your mind, you idiot.' Severus shot back. 'Which makes me a disturbing resemblance to Voldemort…'he added to himself in a growling voice. 'But at least I can make sure he doesn't mess with your mind.'

'You don't have to do this, you know.' Harry said softly.

'Do what?'

'Keep protecting me. You are dead. You are not bound to your promise to Dumbledore anymore. You are free.'

Severus looked at him. It was not anger in his eyes now…it was the look Harry had only seen when the both of them are alone together.

'You think I am doing this because of Dumbledore?' He said softly, stepping close to Harry and raised a finger to stroke his cheek. Harry closed his eyes at the gentle caress…He had forgotten Severus's warmth, his protective heat…He felt Severus's finger moving across his lips, and he opened them.

'Look at me.' Severus urged. Harry opened his eyes obediently. Severus leaned his face close to his, and kissed him.

He had almost forgotten his kisses…He had forgotten how they seem to move with his in perfect harmony. Harry kissed those warm, soft lips hungrily, wrapping his arms around Severus's neck and pulled him closer to him. To his pleasure, Severus wrapped his arms around him, pressing onto his lips both hard and softly. His lips slowly slid onto his throat, and Harry closed his eyes again as he felt Severus pressing small kisses on his neck. He seized handfuls of Severus's robes; wanting to feel more of him…he slid his hand into his robes and almost died with happiness when he felt the cool, _solid, real _skin underneath. He reached further…

'Still as hungry as ever, aren't you?' Severus mumbled against his neck. 'Imagine making love in your own mind…'

'Please, Severus, I want to…' Harry breathed against his lips, his fingers starting to unbutton Severus's collar in an all-too-familiar way. 'I want to…have you back again…'

'Perhaps another time, Harry…' Severus gently seized Harry's hands and moved them away from him, silencing Harry with a crushing kiss as he started to protest. 'Now you need to go back…'

'No…' Harry wrapped his arms tighter around Severus's neck, clinging to him. He couldn't let him go again…He couldn't, after so much hurt and pain…after he had felt and touched Severus again…

'I won't leave you.' Severus said, apparently reading Harry's thoughts. Harry let his tears fall on those firm shoulders. He had been holding them back too long. 'I promise, Harry, not this time…'

Harry felt himself being slowly carried away by some unseen force from Severus. He reached out in a desperate attempt to touch him again, but clutched at nothing but air.

'I will never break my promise again.' Was the last thing he heard before Severus disappeared

'


	8. Eight:Beginning Of An End

Chapter Eight: Beginning of an End. PG-15

Harry stared at Severus Snape from his bed in horror. _What is he doing here? Why isn't he teaching? _He thought fearfully.

As he watched, Madam Pomfrey bustled into view. Seeing Snape, her expression quickly turned into a mixture of detest and confusion. Clearly, Snape was not popular among the Hogwarts teachers either. 'Severus,' she said, walking up to him with impatience in her voice. 'What brings you here?'

'I am aware that one of my students is missing from my class.' Snape said in a low voice, his eyes not leaving Harry. 'And without any earlier notice. I trust it is my responsibility to know the whereabouts of my students, Madam Pomfrey? 'He raised his eyebrows at the matron.

'Certainly, Severus. But the boy took ill quite suddenly. I assure you he will give you a slip signed by me explaining his absence when he is better. There is no need to trouble yourself by coming all the way down here and disrupting the progress of your lessons, Severus…Now, I suggest…'

'I have granted my students a self-studying period today.' Snape said smoothly. 'And on the matter of the slips explaining Potter's absence, I have received quite a number of those fom Potter recently…'

'Clearly the boy's unwell this term…'

'Only at Potions lessons, I have observed. That would be too much of a coincidence, don't you think, Madam Pomfrey?' Snape asked silkily, his eyes gleaming at Harry now. 'Unless Potter had developed an unknown kind of disease that takes its toll only at Potions lessons, I refuse to believe that he is actually ill.'

Madam Pomfrey appeared to be lost for words. Snape seized the chance to say, 'which brings me to why I am here. I wish to know the nature of Potter's…illness, and see what I can do for him.'

'That is very thoughtful of you, Severus. But I am sure my potion would be able to…'

'I have no doubts of your abilities, Madam Pomfrey. I only wish to give you a hand to quicken Potter's recovery.'

Madam Pomfrey looked defeated. She glanced at Harry, who looked at her helplessly, and sighed. 'Oh, very well, Severus. But please don't give the boy anything too strong…I am not sure how much more he can take.'

'Thank you.' Snape said curtly. 'And I would prefer some privacy with Potter, if you don't mind.'

Obviously Pomfrey did mind, but she bit her lip and nodded. She gave Harry another worrying glance, then left the hospital wing, closing the door behind her and leaving Snape and Harry alone.

Once the door was closed, Snape locked his eyes on Harry and swept towards his bed. Harry's heart pounded painfully in his chest. What would Snape do to him? The memory of last night floated back to him…the stinging feeling in his stomach started up again…_Oh no, not now…I DON'T WANT to feel him again…I DON'T WANT to touch him…Severus Snape is one greasy, slick, disgusting…_

The next thing he knew, Snape was on top of him, kissing him violently. The musk and almond scent was intoxicating…Harry wrapped his legs around Snape's thigh like ivy and gasped when Snape's lips moved to his throat, his fingers hastily unbuttoning his collar. All Harry could do was to grip the back of Snape's robes and remind himself to breathe because he could die any minute…

'No…wait…' Harry struggled to say. God, it's hard to concentrate with Snape kissing him like that… 'Pomfrey…'

Snape silenced him by crushing his lips in another violent kiss, his arms pushing Harry back onto the mattress, his whole body covering his…

'It's time, don't you think, Mr. Potter…' Snape mumbled against his lips. 'That we give up our little game?'

Harry's head was spinning. He didn't know what was happening. Was he really kissing Snape, the man who hated him for all his life, on the _bed_ in the hospital wing? 'What do you want?' He managed to whisper.

Snape stopped kissing him and looked into Harry's eyes. Now Harry could see exactly what was burning in Snape's depthless, coal-black eyes…_Desire. _'What do_ you _want?' He asked him.

That was a question that Harry had a million answers to. What does he want, exactly?

_I want Severus Snape_

_But he is my teacher, and he hates me. And I hate him._

_Do you? Then what are you doing right now?_

'I…don't know.' Harry answered truthfully. 'This is wrong…We,' He gestured to their locked embrace. '…are wrong.'

'Then let go of me.'

_Damn, he knows the one thing I couldn't do.. _'I can't.'

'Tell me what you _want,_ Harry.'

_I want to know what's happening to me, I want to know why I want you to touch me, t_o _feel me…Oh, dear God…_'I want_ you'_ He finally breathed out, running his fingers through Snape's black hair. _I must be cra_zy.

'You want to start an affair with a teacher who you've hated for five years and who had suddenly become your object of sexual desire stimulated by your youthful hormones?' Snape asked, a tiny smirk forming on his lips. 'How typical of you, Potter

He started to disentangle himself from Harry, but Harry seized his arms quickly. 'Don't go. Please.'

'You seem to overestimate my power of restraint, Potter.' Snape said darkly. 'You have no idea what I want from you. And this is hardly the place to discuss it.'

'You have gone this far, haven't you?' Harry challenged, moving his lips along Snape's neck. _God, his skin feels so good…So cool…yet so warm at the same time…_he crushed his lips against Snape's again,,, _It's not enough…_he thought as he began to wrap his arms tightly around Snape's body again, his legs pinning him down onto his own body. _I need more...NOW._ He started to move his fingers to Snape's collar but Snape seized his hand abruptly. 'No.' He breathed. 'Has it ever crossed your limited mind that Pomfrey might burst in suddenly to drive me out?'

'Didn't stop you before.' Harry retorted, unbuttoning Snape's collar insistently and protested when he was stopped once more.

'You are demanding me to seduce you here, Potter. That's a totally different matter.'

'Oh, so you don't want Pomfrey to see you fucking me but you don't mind her seeing is kissing and rolling around and basically just tottering on the edge of having sex!'

'How frank you are, Potter.'

'Hadn't five years of bullying me taught you anything?'

Snape's eyes gleamed. Harry knew he wanted _this_ as much as him. _Damn it, get a move on and take me…_

'You make me wonder at your morality, Potter. You seem so willing to give your virginity to the first person who touches you.'

'What makes you think I am a virgin and you are the first person who touches me?' Harry blurted out without thinking.

Before Snape could answer, they heard footsteps coming from outside. Harry hurriedly let go of Snape, buttoning his collar and shrinking back under the covers while Snape got up gracefully and tidied up himself with such speed that anyone would've thought he had been standing beside Harry all this time. Madam Pomfrey burst in, carrying a water jug and looking very frustrated indeed.

'Severus, I must insist you-'

'Don't worry, Madam Pomfrey, I have quite finished with Mr Potter.' Snape said, stepping away from Harry's bed. When he looked at Harry, he could see that Snape's eyes have resumed their usual look of dislike reserved only for him. 'Remember, Potter. Eight o'clock tomorrow night, my office.'

Harry had to hesitate a few seconds before he caught on. 'Yes, Sir.' He said as loathingly as he could, his head still spinning from what had just happened.

Snape swept away. But before he left the door, he gave Harry a long, searching look. _We are far from finished, Mr Potter. _His eyes said.

Oh, he knows that. And he knows it well.


End file.
